President Bush Throws First Pitch…

  President Bush threw the first pitch of the National’s season-opening game yesterday.  It was pitch aimed high and inside at Cardinals All-Star Albert Pujols.  The resulting walk put the the potential first score on first base to open the inning.  Bush proceeded to walk the next two batters to fill the bases before being pulled for reliever John McCain.

   “President Bush was flustered by the events of the first inning.  Pujols had said some pretty nasty things and frankly, Bush feared the Cardinals would retaliate by pitching at Dick Cheney’s head.” Said White House spokesperson/color commentator Tony Snow.

  After the game the ACLU threatened lawsuit saying President Bush committed a hate crime by pitching at Pujol’s head.  ACLU spokesman John Glove had this to say:  “I heard President Bush rant something about Pujols being an illegal immigrant… we can’t put up with that behavior in either our National Government or our beloved national pastime.”