Heavily Black County Puts Obama Over the Top in Indiana

  A heavily African-American county seems to have made up the number of votes Obama needed to suprisingly win Indiana.  The day before the election, Hillary led Obama in Indiana by 4-8 points in polls of likely Democratic voters.  This is a 4 point lead she had NOT counting the Republican who had planned to switch over and vote for Hillary (Republicans were not polled in any of the major polls).  At 9 o’clock most of the state had returned their votes and Hillary led by 4 points.  However, Heavily African-American Lake County and the Obama-supporter mayor of Gary claimed Obama would win.  No explination was given for the unbelievable late start in county votes–they hadn’t started county votes for three hours after the polls closed.  Then word came that an amazing number of absentee votes came in the day of the election (that’s odd, normally absentee voters vote much earlier then the day before the election).  Then we find out that Lake County’s turnout was about twice of that of Indy in terms of percentage.  Amazing.  In fact, it looks just like about the amount needed to win Indiana.  Amazing, Amazing coincidence.

What makes this a “fakenewsblog” story?  Nothing.  Every word is true.  So in order to keep with the theme of this blog, I will now make up a complete piece of fiction to end the article…

“IN her acceptance speech tonight, Hillary shocked the crowd when she bit the head off a live bat, then sang the words to ‘Crazy Train.’”

 

Obama Wins North Carolina…Calls Indiana a…

  Democratic front-runner Barack Obama won North Carolina tonight but was upset in Indiana.

“As everyone knows, North Carolina is much, much more important anyway,” Said a thrilled Obama, “Besides, Indiana is a Honkey-loving racist state that first started the Klan, so I didn’t want to win there anyway. I mean come on, you guys saw that picture of Bobby Knight with the whip ten years ago.  Tell me again why Hillary is proud to win that state!” 

Obama Distances Himself from Obama-Girl

   Nearly everyone remembers the cute little internet sensation, Obama-Girl.  However, her long-time association with wannabee-career politician Obama came to an abrupt end yesterday, as the 85th longest serving current senator (out of 100) has announced he has broke ties with the Internet sensation.

“It is a difficult thing,” Said Obama, “to break these ties with her.  But of course we’ve all known for months that she is the filthy-mouth spewer of sexual innuendo in that infamous ‘box in a box’ video.  However, just yesterday she repeated the words that we had all heard so often.  Therefor, I have no choice but to finally break off all relations with her, as she continues to do that which I have ignored for so long.”

A picture of the formerly-happy couple.

J.K. Rowland Announces New Book

  Famed English writer J.K. Rowland has announced her much-anticipated follow up to her successful Harry Potter series.  Rowland said she was anxious to release her new book and disproove all those haters out there who claim she’s a “one-hit wonder who stretched her one hit into 5 books.”

  “Yes, the critics were definately weighing heavily on me… that’ why I’m back now,” Said Rowland, “With a brand new concept.  See, it’s a book about a young boy who’s a magician and he goes to a private school in New York to learn to be a warlock.  See, completely new stuff indeed!”