The Conservative’s Source for Funny Fake News

Eloquent Words Face Massive Inflation Increase

We didnt think youd understand the story without a chart.

We didn't think you'd understand the story without a chart.

  Leading Vocabulary Economisists today have announced the nation is facing an unforeseen massive crisis:  Eloquent Word Inflation.  Vocab Econ Eggheads at Kentucky Wesleyan College have been tracing the value of Eloquent words since 1996.  Professor Steve Beach had this to say “We’ve never seen such a quarterly jump in the values of Eloquent words.  Ten years ago, Eloquent Words might have got you a job, perhaps even let you score with a woman that is much, much more attractive then you would normally be able to score with.  But now, now Eloquent words seem to be at such a high value they will actually allow you to be elected President of the United States with no real record and despite having a long, long shadowy past full of shadowy, vaguely anti-American friends, perhaps even domestic terrorist connections.”

  Vocab Economists recommend that you fight Eloquent Word Inflation by not watching re-runs of Frasier, not listening to alternative bands like “Death Cab for Cutie”, and by researching Democratic Presidential Nominees for more then their empty, empty, eloquent words that might sound refreshing after eight years of misspoken presidential addresses from men who care more about action and values then image.


June 10, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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